10 Steps to Building Self Esteem

Self-esteem is one of the most powerful and important tools anyone can have. It is the foundation of good mental health and when you have higher self esteem, you are more likely to be able to handle any challenge that comes your way. However, if you have low self-esteem, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, insecure, and powerless.  Building self-esteem is a lifelong process, and although it takes effort and time, the benefits are enormous.

What is Self Esteem?

Self-esteem is how you view yourself and your abilities, your self-worth, and your personal value. Although many may think that self esteem means you see yourself as perfect, that is actually not the case. When you have high self esteem you do acknowledge your flaws but you see your worth beyond it and you are much less likely to be intimidated by others. It means that you have a positive view of yourself, whereas low self-esteem means that you have a negative view of your abilities and sense of worth. With higher self-esteem, you’ll be more successful in relationships, work, and life in general.

Where does self-esteem come from?

Self-esteem comes from many places, but the most important factor is how you were treated as a child. If you grew up in a nurturing environment where your parents or caregivers were loving, supportive, and encouraging, you’re more likely to have high self-esteem. But if you were criticized, ignored, or abused, you’re more likely to have low self-esteem.

However, your self-esteem can also be affected by your experiences as an adult. If you’ve been in a toxic relationship, experienced a traumatic event, or struggled with an addiction, your self-worth can take a hit. But the good news is that you can rebuild your self-esteem no matter what your past experiences have been.

Tips for building self-esteem:

Practice self-compassion and Accept Your Flaws: One of the most important things you can do to build self-esteem is to be kind to yourself. Instead of beating yourself up when you make a mistake or fail at something, practice self-compassion. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend who was going through a tough time. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes, and that you’re doing the best you can. It is also important to accept your flaws and embrace your vulnerabilities to accept these flaws as being a part of you.

Focus on your strengths: Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Instead of dwelling on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. Make a list of your talents, skills, and accomplishments, no matter how small they are. Celebrate your successes, and recognize your abilities. By focusing on your strengths, you’ll build confidence and feel more positive about yourself.

Set realistic goals: Setting goals is a great way to boost self-esteem. However, it’s important to set realistic goals that are achievable. When you set a goal that’s too high, you’re setting yourself up for failure. On the other hand, when you set a goal that’s too easy, you’re not challenging yourself. Set goals that are challenging but achievable. When you reach your goals, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment that will boost your self-esteem.

Take care of your body: Your physical health can affect your mental health. When you take care of your body, you’ll feel better about yourself. Eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly (see last point), get enough sleep, and practice good hygiene. When you feel good physically, you’ll feel better emotionally too.

Surround yourself with positive people: The people you spend time with can have a big impact on your self-esteem. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who encourage and uplift you. Avoid people who are negative or critical. When you’re around positive people, you’ll feel better about yourself and be more likely to succeed.

Practice self-care: Self-care refers to anything you do to take care of yourself, physically, mentally, or emotionally. This could mean taking a bubble bath, going for a run, reading a book, or spending time with friends. Make time for self-care every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Challenge your negative thoughts: We all have negative thoughts from time to time. However, negative thoughts can harm your self-esteem. Challenge your negative thoughts by asking yourself if they’re true. If they’re not true, replace them with positive affirmations (next point).

Practice Positive Affirmations: Positive affirmations are a powerful technique for building self-esteem. These can be guiding statements that one believes to be true. When you repeat positive affirmations frequently, they can help retrain your brain into a winning mindset. Start by choosing a series of affirmations that resonate with you. They should be positive statements that challenge negative beliefs about yourself. Some examples of positive affirmations include, “I am loved,” “I am worthy,” “I am capable,” and “I am enough.” Once you have chosen your affirmations, make it a habit to repeat them to yourself every day, and when negative thoughts arise.

Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is a positive mindset that is essential to building self-esteem. Practicing gratitude can help you focus on the positive aspects of your life and increase your self-awareness of the good already present. Gratitude helps with developing a growth mindset rather than a fixed one. Start by writing a list of things you’re grateful for every day. They can include simple things like a delicious meal or meaningful conversations with friends and family. Through practicing gratitude, you begin to see the good in your life, and this improves your self-esteem by making you feel good about yourself.

Incorporate Exercise: Exercise has been shown to improve mental and physical health and self-esteem. Exercise releases endorphins, reduces anxiety, and improves mood. It also improves your general outlook on life and your self-image. Building an exercise regime will help boost confidence and assist with mental health issues. Experiment with different forms of exercise, identify what excites you, and what you enjoy, this will lead to progress and in turn, better self-esteem.

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